


The Review Board

by Fritti13



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Coda, Episode Tag, Episode: s6e25, Gen, Humor, Sarcasm, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 10:37:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6851311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fritti13/pseuds/Fritti13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda for Season Finale 6x25.  The Television Script Writer's Review Board sits down to a conversation with the H50 Script Writers, Chin and Kono.  This is SATIRE, folks.  You have been warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Review Board

Transcript from the Television Script Writer's Review Board  
May 2016

RSWRB: Good Morning, thank you for meeting with me this morning.

H50 Script Writer: Your welcome

Chin: No problem

Kono: Yea, whatever.

RSWRB: We're here to discuss the events of May 13th and the following week. I understand that there was a forced landing of a small aircraft on a public beach. Detective Williams landed the craft, correct?

H50SW: Uh, yea, landed isn't exactly what I would call it.

Kono: More like crashed.

RSWRB: Crashed? Ah. So you didn't know it was going to crash?

Chin: Oh no, we knew. We had ear mics on. We heard Danny say they were coming in for a forced landing with no engines.

RSWRB: I see. So you had 3 people on board of what you knew was going to be a plane crash. How many ambulances did you have standing by?

H50SW: Er . . . one?

RSWRB: One?! Why only one?

Kono: Because Steve was hurt.

Chin: Yea, Steve was hurt.

RSWRB: But . . . there were 3 people on the plane. A plane you knew was going to crash.

Kono: Yea, but Steve was hurt.

RSWRB: OK, moving on. The plane crashed. I'm assuming the paramedics secured the scene and evaluated the injured?

H50SW: No (timidly). They just got Steve out. The bad guy jumped out and tried to run. Kono got him and that's the last we saw of him.

RSWRB: What about Danny?

Chin: Oh, he got himself out.

RSWRB: Did the paramedics evaluate him at the scene?

H50SW, Chin, Kono: (blank looks)

RSWRB: Were more ambulances called to take care of the other crash victims who had potential unseen injuries?

Kono: No, but you see, Steve . . . (weakly)

RSWRB: Let's move on, shall we? Once you arrived at the hospital, I'm assuming that Danny was examined there?

Chin: Well, we kind of suggested it, but he wanted to go finish the job.

RSWRB: I understand that Detective Williams was bleeding and had at least one broken rib?

Kono: Well, yea, but, you know, he kind of wanted to do his own thing.

RSWRB: Did you council him against it? Pointed out that he may risk a punctured lung or have unknown internal injuries?

Chin: Uhhhh, no? We wanted to avenge Steve, too!

H50SW: Yea, it's kind of the H50 thing. Besides, poor Steve!

RSWRB: (shaking head) Alright, so after your dramatic takedown of the bad guys, you insisted that Detective Williams be seen by appropriate medical personnel?

H50SW: Er, no. Then he offered up half a liver.

RSWRB: A transplant operation without determining if the patient was in a safe physical condition?

Kono: Yea, but Steve was hurt!

Chin: Yea, Steve was hurt! Besides, Danny's the weak link anyway.

RSWRB: The weak link? Who says so?

Chin and Kono: Grover.

RSWRB: Grover? The SWAT guy that got fired? What's his function on the team. Is he your sharpshooter?

Kono: Uh no, that's me.

RSWRB: Your computer expert?

Chin: (snorting) Hell, no. Jerry, myself or Kono knows a LOT more about computers than Grover.

RSWRB: Oh, so he's your “in” to life on the island and its culture?

H50SW: Are you kidding? He's from Chicago!

RSWRB: Well he must be some freaky athletic ninja guy then?

Kono: Hardly. That's Steve.

Chin: Yea, and Grover's got bad knees.

RSWRB: So he's a master detective, maybe?

Kono: No, that's Danny.

RSWRB: So what, exactly, DOES Grover bring to the team, other than being named for a Sesame Street character?

H50SW: Ummmm . . .

Kono: He's . . . ah . . . he's big? (smiles weakly)

RSWRB: (shaking head) OK, let's get back to the events following the surgery. I noticed that Detective Williams had no sympathy cards, no balloons and no flowers, even from his own team. Care to explain?

Kono: (timidly) Er, well, see Steve was really hurt . . .

Chin: Yea, Steve!

RSWRB: So, let me get this straight, Danny was in a plane crash and donated half his liver, but that's OK because Steve was hurt. Are you aware that donation of a liver means 8 – 16 weeks off of work? And that there are several risks involved, including blood clots, infection, abscesses, bile issues and, sometimes, death?

Kono: Oh, please, don't give Danny anything else to complain about. (rolls eyes and looks toward H50SW)

H50SW: Hey, it's what he does!

Chin: Well, it's getting old and cliched! Cut it out!

RSWRB: Yes, thank you for that. We feel the same way. Anyway, the donation of half a liver is a very, very painful procedure and the donor will experience significant pain and nausea for weeks. You don't think Detective Williams might feel slighted by no one wishing him well? Did anyone acknowledge his efforts to bring in a crippled plane, save his partner and donate an internal organ?

H50SW: Oh come on, it's just Danny! Why are you in such a snit! Steve is the issue here.

Kono: (looking worried) I don't know, Script Writer. Maybe we've been a little harsh on Danny. I mean, I could at least have given him a card or something. (nibbles on bottom lip thoughtfully).

Chin: Nahhh, he'll be fine. He's got broad shoulders. What would he have to complain about if we didn't ignore him and Steve didn't put him down and dismiss him constantly?

RSWRB: (blinking) Did you ever think that maybe that's WHY Detective Williams complains constantly? They say that negative attention is better than no attention at all, you know.

H50SW: (rolls eyes) Yea, yea, yea. Pile on the complaints. God, you and the fan girls are never happy. Sometimes I hate my job. Besides, everyone is fine and all's right with the world now. So there.

RSWRB: So you weren't aware of the five million dollar lawsuit that the city filed against Detective Williams for landing the plane on the beach? They are claiming that he endangered the public and destroyed public property after he was distinctly and definitively told to dump the plane in the water.

H50SW, Chin, Kono: YEA, BUT STEVE!!


End file.
